Finding Self-Care Balance: You are not alone, women entrepreneurs

I launched my re-branded coaching business this week by releasing the website on social and to my networks. I wanted each page and each link to be perfect, you can imagine. I managed to get the website to “good enough” status, and announced it.

Then, I realized my podcasts sounded terrible and they needed re-recording. Then, I became obsessed with the Wix app allowing me to message people in the chat when I see them on the website.

Needless to say, I stayed up late several nights with anxiety about it being perfect and fretting over getting website conversions. By Friday, when I am writing this blog, I woke up with a catch in my throat feeling exhausted and emotionally wrung out.

Have you ever experienced this? If you have, you are not alone.

Most people believe that in all businesses, we need to push through hectic times every once and a while. Starting something, ending something, announcing something new, offering a sale or promotion - all of these and more will often bring about a frenzied period when we need to hustle through an intense time to “get it done”.

Since I am still teaching yoga, I signed up for some anatomy programs being offered online next week. I clicked on the website of the person offering the courses. Frankly, her website is terrible! The offerings are all jumbled together, there is no way to contact her, and the links on her media page are also crammed together so it’s hard to read. Interestingly, I saw she was a guest on a podcast for a “earn money with online yoga” school/program, where you can set yourself up to launch $5k or more programs. So, this person did invest in training to build her business. Maybe that’s the key, I thought. The key is her content and offerings, not the fancy pants look of her website. It gave me pause.

After I experienced a week of pushing myself hard, then viewing the less-than-fabulous yoga website of a successful yogini, I had to ask myself: “Is this necessary?” Could I have planned things out better? Or, simply accepted that my podcasts weren’t perfect and changed them slowly with a more measured pace? While taking care of myself?

Yes, I absolutely could have done that, plan things out better as well as fix things at a more self-caring pace.

As women entrepreneurs, we often feel the double-standard of perfectionism by the on-going male dominated culture. No disrespect to males because not every male wants this, it’s just there and I’m speaking to reality. We set much higher standards for ourselves than males or others women who are not in business might do. In addition, we often have the still-expected duties of house and home to juggle alongside our businesses, so we feel obligated to push ourselves hard to achieve our dreams of owning a business while also caring for a family. Finally, many women have opted to not have a family, and/or a life partner, or things simply didn’t work out to have a life partner. So, they aren’t “cared for” financially by a spouse or romantic partner, and are therefore extra pressured to make a living financially. I definitely feel the sting of this last point, because my family also had and still has very little faith that I can “make it on my own”.

These added challenges to women business owners are real. I recently read a review of the Barbie movie where the blog writer says that women can do whatever we want, yet it’s much more exhausting than it seems to be for men, for many of the reasons I just listed. True dat. Many of us can relate.

Therefore, it’s extra critical for women entrepreneurs like us to practice self-care. Truly assessing what needs to be done in the immediate moment versus what can be put off for a day or two, is a life-saving art form. Too much putting off becomes procrastination. Yet, too much “do it now” can become self-abusive. Where do we find the line? And, how do we embrace that the line may change, moment-by-moment?

Mindfulness meditation has been my go-to for helping with this. The more I connect with myself and learn about my needs, the more I can respond in the moment better to decisions that need to be made. And, the more I meditate, the more I can tap into that need inside myself instantly, throughout the day. I also use muscle testing to help determine what to do next, along with which vitamins to take and what to eat.

Our bodies and our minds are fantastic built-in tools to help guide us through each day, in order to decide what to do or not do, in our own best interests. Because, when we are refreshed, clear-headed, and in the present moment, we can make excellent decisions for ourselves which lead to excellent service to our clients/customers, staff, and partners. Oh, and these qualities help our families, too!

As long as there is a willingness to try and engage the mind with purpose, and use the body with kindness as a tool for information, then they will comply. It takes time, and with each mindfulness practice I do, the connection to my inner needs becomes stronger.

For example, prior to writing this blog, I was an emotional wreck, teary eyed, desperate, and feeling sorry for myself. First, I did a “morning pages” type writing exercise to dump all these emotions out on the page. When the issues and concerns were identified and the rest of the emotions were cleared, I did my usual morning routine of stretching and meditation. It was richer than usual. I paid close attention to my thoughts like I hadn’t been able to all week. My doggies curled up around me, and wanted to be petted while I stretched and meditated, so I obliged them. Their presence soothed me, and brought me back to a place of joy. During that process, I realized I had become too focussed on myself and earning my keep, rather than being of service. When I got back to a place of service, I knew I was ready to write this blog.

The purpose for me to rebrand my business to support women entrepreneurs is because that’s what my soul told me to do. She said this was the group that needed the most help and support, and this was the group I could serve the best. I was scared, and had no idea how I could do this, yet the more I opened to the concept, the more it felt right. Now, I know deeply in my heart that I can offer the type of coaching and consulting a 5-star high-flying firm can offer to small-medium sized business owners at a fraction of the cost, because they deserve that support just as much as corporations do. In fact, women who run small-medium sized businesses deserve more support, because we are the backbone of most modern economies. Yet, we receive the least support.

Well, that’s over now, because you have a champion and a cheerleader in your corner to help you overcome your personal and professional challenges so you can succeed beyond your wildest dreams! Many of us have already sprouted our wings, yet have not had the courage to leap off the cliff and fly. When you’re ready to fly, get in touch for a consultation…

Blessings and Namaste,

Marissa