Women Entrepreneurs: How Authenticity Breeds Emotional Safety

When women decide to start a business, there are always nay-sayers. People will look at your (often poor) track record and scoff, "Yeah, right. Good luck with that." Or, they'll offer fake praise by encouraging you to your face, but dissing you to your friends behind your back.

Sadly, men often dismiss women who want to run their own businesses, whether large or small. My father was an example. He had little faith in me to make it on my own, and earn money from my own business.

My father died on September 7th. Yup, like 7 weeks ago.

Even though my dad and I were close, his unexpected death and how he set up his estate left an undeniable truth: he was a misogynist. He didn't dislike women, in fact, he struggled to live alone without a girlfriend after my parents divorced. He didn't despise women, either. He simply dismissed us. The Oxford Dictionary says misogyny also means, "strongly prejudiced against women". That was Dad.

Now, as I'm left holding the bag of grief, mourning his great qualities while also reconciling with his less-than-stellar qualities, I have to wonder. How did his lack of belief in me impact how I am running my business?

I learned a potent lesson after Dad passed. I had yoga classes scheduled to teach the following week. I put everything on hold; yet, I told people _why_. I explained that my dad had passed away and that I'd have to reschedule classes in October. I gave myself the rest of the month of September to mourn, be with family, celebrate his life, and pick up the emotional pieces. I didn't go into crazy detail, but I was honest. I received some really great condolences.

On my personal Facebook account, I let my friends and network know what happened. I even posted in a very real and raw way what it was like to spread his ashes. Amazingly, I received incredible responses of support and genuine connection because I was so real with my grief process. It got me to thinking...what If I had been _even more_ authentic and real about Dad's death in my business posts?

Women entrepreneurs often think they need to put on a mask of stone to be successful, because showing emotions makes us "too sensitive" or "too weak" or whatever all those double-standard female stereotypes are. That's simply not true. When people see us as humans on social media and as employers, it gives others permission to feel, to heal, and to simply be authentically themselves, too.

When we cultivate authenticity through our vulnerability in our workplaces and business, we create more emotional safety. People feel like they can let their guard down, and they won't be criticized. This is how authenticity breeds emotional safety. When our employees, our business partners, and our communities see us being vulnerable, forgiving, kind, gentle, and HONEST with ourselves, they feel safe enough to be the same, at least in our presence.

Brene Brown talks a lot about this in her work, and I recommend reading her book, "The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings on Authenticity, Connection, & Courage" to gain a deeper understanding of the authenticity/vulnerability connection.

The key on how authenticity breeds emotional safety for women entrepreneurs, is to treat your business contacts, and frankly everyone, the way you just treated yourself. If your employee has a death in the family, ask them what they need. Empathize with their situation, and come up with an action plan that seems fair for when they will return to work. Excrete compassion from every pore of your body. Because, isn't that how you would want an employer to treat you in a time of crisis? Like a human being?

Why cultivate emotional safety in your business? I describe several key reasons why emotional safety will help your business in my "What is Emotional Safety?" video.

Women entrepreneurs need to really dig into how they treat themselves, cultivate their leadership skills, and examine their mental self-talk, in order to breed emotional safety from authenticity. If you are hard-charging your business to the point where you wouldn't give yourself any time off for the death of a loved one, then it's time to look in the mirror.

And know, that if you are hard-charging and abusing yourself to "make it", it's not your fault. I'm telling you now, it's not your fault. We receive messages all over the place, from society, from our dads, our brothers, our husbands, our friends, that only a "hard-charging and self-sacrificing" attitude will make us winners.

I'm here to tell you now, that's bullshit. And if you swallowed that cool-aid, it's not your fault.

Stay tuned to my next blog, where I'll discuss the difference between "self-sacrificing" and "balanced" business management.

If you'd like to explore how I can help you cultivate more emotional safety in your business, which will result in longer-term employees, more fruitful business partnerships, and a more balanced life overall, book a consultation with me.

Be you. Authentically you. If you don't know how, start by asking yourself "Who am I?" "What do I value in this world?" "What is important to me?" After writing these answers down, read my next blog... :)

Yours in service,

Marissa