A Mouse in the House: Do no harm with boundaries
- Marissa Krupa
- Aug 1, 2023
- 5 min read
I live in the country in Central Montana. Because of the summer heat, I’ve been leaving my front door open at night to cool down the house. The other night, as I was about to fall asleep, I shot awake and sat up realizing that mice might be encouraged to come in as a result of the open door. It was so hot, I thought, “I don’t care. I’ll deal with it if it happens.”
Sure enough, a few nights later a mouse had entered the house. It scooted into my home office while I was in there. Amazingly, it was not as skittish as other mice I’ve met in other homes. I looked behind the blanket basket and there it was, looking up at me with it’s cute round ears and twitchy nose.
In the past, I killed mice in my house because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. They are often attracted to the dog food. Since my last mouse invasion some years ago, I have healed from a lot of trauma personally, and I have also learned a lot of techniques for helping people who suffer from trauma. My heart has softened, and I’ve embraced the yoga concept of ahimsa more deeply than ever before. Ahimsa means “do no harm”.
After discovering the mouse’s location, I screamed out like a little girl, “Ah! There’s a mouse! Ah!” Then I got my gloves and tried to see if I could capture the mouse. When I returned, it had scuttled behind the desk and internet router. Meanwhile, my dogs heard the screams from outside and came running, thinking their pack leader was in trouble. I shut the door behind them not wanting any other mice to come in while I was occupied. That decision would have after effects later.
I blocked my hand on one side of the router, and tried to block the other side. I was excited and nervous, yet somehow calm. I’d never done anything like this before, but I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I began talking soothingly to the mouse, letting it know I meant no harm and that I was just trying to free it back to its’ home outside. Annie, my dog, began nosing into the scene and I had to sternly warn her away and shoo her with my elbow.
I slowly tilted the router down and as the mouse tried to scuttle on the slick plastic, I was able to grab it with my hands! It tried to squirm out the bottom of my hands, and I tightened my grip and my palms. I told the mouse to stop squirming because I didn’t want to squish it.
In my excitement, I stood straight up, banging my head on the underside of the desk. I stumbled backward with stars and chirping birds swirling around my head and managed to get to the door shouting “Ah! Ah! Ah!” the whole way. It was shut. With a knob-style handle.
Doh!
I told the mouse I had to tighten my grip but I wasn’t going to kill it, and somehow managed to open the door with one and a half gloved fingers.
Annie was right at my side like I was holding the ultimate canine prize of the universe, which in her mind, I was. I kept warning her away and shooing her with my foot, managing to get her to back off a bit. I ran to the edge of the deck, and released the mouse to the ground. It paused, then shot off like a rocket under the deck. Annie was close on its’ heels, and belly crawled under there with high canine hopes.
Solution: get barn kitties. I’ve known for a while that I needed to get cats, and tried earlier this year with a horrible failure (another story for another day). To plan properly for barn kitties, I need to weatherize and insulate my shed and install a cat door. I then need to purchase bean bags to train Annie to leave the cats alone. She is heavily prey-driven.
Before I used poison and traps. Today, I choose to allow nature to take its course.
Why did I let the mouse live?
Mice are smart, and they quickly learn the pattern of a house with their whiskers by traveling along the baseboards. I disrupted this learning pattern by capturing the mouse, so there was no need to kill it.
I knew if I had killed the mouse I wouldn’t feel good inside myself. When I glanced down and saw the mouse the first time, I appreciated the beauty of its’ mousy features, its’ sleek grey fur, cute ears, and long whiskers. Just because I didn’t want the mouse in my home, doesn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate a small furry life. From one living thing to another, I honored that mouse’s life and appreciated its right to live.
Doing no harm to life doesn’t mean having no boundaries or allowing oneself to be walked all over. I did remove the mouse from my home because I didn’t want it there, but I didn’t need to go beyond that. Removing it was all that was needed.
I hope that by disrupting the mouse’s explorations, it will tell others to avoid the house because of potential manhandling. I have no idea how mice communicate with one another, but keeping it alive allows the mice to potentially share what it learned with others, and that is “don’t go in the house”.
Let’s bring the mouse house story into our business lives.
When was the last time you stood up for something smaller or more vulnerable than you at your job, even if it meant you might get hurt? (Banging my head under a desk.)
When faced with a new, trepidatious problem, did you fully feel your feelings or simply shunt them away? (Screaming like a little girl.)
When faced with a new, trepidatious problem, did you remain calm? Did you follow your gut or your heart, knowing you were doing the right thing? (Capturing the mouse instead of killing it.)
When faced with a mistake or miscalculation (shutting the door), did you trust yourself to know you could get through it? (Opening it with one and a half gloved fingers.)
When faced with something or someone you didn’t like, did you use appropriate boundaries (removing the mouse from the home) while not having to destroy that person or situation? (Killing the mouse.)
Did you train or coach others to protect the vulnerable person or situation in your organization? (Shooing away Annie from killing the mouse.)
When we are present and aware, every moment of life is a teachable moment. I hope my mouse story helps you to give pause today and reflect on the questions I listed above. I wish you much learning about your own inner emotional safety and I trust it will prove useful in your business.
If you want to explore how these questions and more can help you become a better business leader and grow your business to where you want it to be, book a free consultation with me.
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